traveloni

well after some time. i no longer have a problem with “Chad” and his body. I have gained so much inner strength at my job that i know no one will influence me to do anything i don’t want to do. I think its because im pressured so much about everything. ok but now to vent freely about someone else. lets name him ST. So this ST character is sooooo complicated. I try so hard to be like the girl from fruits basket who is surrounded by all these different problems but somehow finds the perfect thing to say to each to ease their burdens. But with some, especially ST, its like they are choosing to stay stuck in the quicksand of the problem. the hope and happiness are just gone out of them… and on top of alll of this ST likes me more than just a friend even though, like chad, its not allowed but in this case strickly for work reasons. The even sadder thing is that i know a relationship between us would never work. i mean i try and help him but then i realize his is who he is and i cant change that just to try and put together a good bf for myself…cuz if we were in different circumstances, and what i didnt write on that note to him that day, is that it wouldnt work i think… we have been to some of the most romantic places in the area and never once has my heart tugged me forward to kiss him like he has admitted to me his has told him to… i guess im still learning when it comes to this whole life thing, … but if there is one thing i know its that they will find love eventually. they dont think so but i know. i see the beauty abounding in them that refuse to see and how there are women looking for what each of them posseses… the question is how do you give a person hope and happiness when they openly deny its existence?